A LETTER FROM JASON
From Unit 14 - DEATH SQUAD
12th September 2011

NO ROOM AT THE INN

Alright Mal,

Well, here we are another month down the line. Time flies when you’re having fun.

It’s Monday 12th September and can you believe it I’m behind my door. I went to the gym this morning as I do most days, Managed to get a 6 mile run in. Came back, got my dinner (if that’s what you call it) and got banged up. We normally get banged up for a good 3 hours over lunch, so when I get out I’m gonna try and find a job where you get 3 hour lunch breaks He He.

To be fair, once I’ve been to the gym I’m sweet-o. It’s when I don’t get that it gives me the hump!

Obviously I had to earn my 70p (or whatever poxy money I’m on a day) by cleaning my landing before I went to the gym, but I can assure you they get 70p worth out of me :)

Both the Manchester sides are looking strong and Chelsea have come out of the traps slow, so I think we’ll leave the football chat there.

It’s like being on the terraces in here in the 80’s I tell yuh, as there’s standing room only, Not on my wing luckily enough, but on others they are making single cells into doubles by putting one bed on top of another. I’d be fuming, but all them rioters have had a knock on effect, so these gaffs are full to the brim. I’m barricading up. No squatters are welcome here. I’ve got my rights you know Ha Ha.

I look at this gaff sometimes and I swear I’m on a hospital wing, as there’s so many mongrels here and I’ll tell you another thing: they’re the best solicitors in the world; they tell you how long you should have got. To be fair, I’ve only met 3 people who are guilty, the rest are “INNOCENT.” Don’t get me wrong, I know our system is corrupt and stinks, but you have to see some of these bods to believe it. I don’t even think their mothers love them Ha Ha.

I only have it with a handful in here and, of course, I like to keep the spirits high, so the wind-ups have still been happening.. Let me give you an example and let’s hope people don’t take offence (but I’m sure there will be a few do-gooders on my site that will). Anyway, there’s this Jewish geezer called John. I said to John that we mustn’t talk about “Belsen” as I have sad memories about it because my granddad died there. 2 weeks later I’m getting more sympathy from old John-boy when I said to John “I think we’ve got our wires crossed.”

“Why?” he said.

I said “Well, it was my granddad’s own fault he died as he went to work pissed and fell out of the watch-tower!”

Even he laughed and told me to fuck off.

This gaffs like a revolving door still, but on the whole the gaff’s a cess pit full of innocent Rednecks. But no dramas because everyone has their day and I won’t ever have to look at them again.

So, until my next script, I hope everyone is enjoying life, as this ain’t a rehearsal. Remember: It’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

NO SURRENDER
The General
STILL IN FULL CONTROL
W.A.T.P.